Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
