he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
