I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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