I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I look excited, but its just a facade.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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