She is in my trunk
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
