Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
