Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
