You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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