what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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