I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
