Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
