upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
