Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
