shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
