good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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