Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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