I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize