Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
