Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
