What did we do last night that was yellow?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
