Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
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you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Less talking, more tequila
As shirtless as possible
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
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Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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