the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
