I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
