You really coming over, don't trick.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
