He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
