Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
