he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
