So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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