If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
