I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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