I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
