The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
