I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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