lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
