singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
