I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
