Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
