I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
