Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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