Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
