Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
