...so i touched it.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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