summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
