did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
