ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
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He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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