you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
