Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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