dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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