I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
