K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
