My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Let's get the cat blown out
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
