dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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