booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
