you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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