Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize