Kiss
Puke
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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