If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He passed out mid-signature
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
