so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
