She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
This house was built for laser tag.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can you bring me the toilet please
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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