I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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