Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
