'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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