Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
