Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
