well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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