i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
