Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
